ports When Youth Sports Get Too Intense

BRADENTON -- Everyone has heard the horror stories, or perhaps even witnessed one first hand. Overaggressive coaches and overbearing parents can make competitive youth sports a nightmare experience for young kids, sometimes taking what should be a fun and rewarding experience that builds character and teaches valuable skills like teamwork, and turning it into a traumatic experience. When young kids play competitive sports, where do we draw the line of too intense?

photo i9 Sports

I first started to question the idea of such limits when a close friend's son began playing competitive soccer at the age of four. We went to see one of his matches and I was utterly appalled. Parents, coaches and referees seemed to be engaged in a round robin, bickering, and at some points even screaming at each other over calls and whether their child was getting the ball often enough. The children seemed happy enough just to be out in the sunshine, but I noticed that each time there was tension among the grown-ups, little heads bowed down toward the blades of grass.

A couple of years later, one of my sister's children began playing organized baseball. He was nine years old and seemed to enjoy himself enough, but before long her husband had him on a rigorous routine with professional instruction from a retired pro twice every week. In addition to Little League, he was playing on not one, but two travel teams throughout the year and spending time in the batting cages every Sunday morning.

They had literally invested thousands of dollars in his tutelage before he was 11! Someday he'll get a scholarship, her husband would often say, but I wondered how long it would be before his investment outpaced college tuition and asked myself if they wouldn't be better off hiring a tutor and focusing on his academic success.

Some coaches will even admit that their leagues or travel teams are too competitive for a kid just starting out, even if they are as young as 10. Kids with little or no experience might not get to play very much and the disparity between the other kids, some of whom have been playing since they could walk, can even have the opposite effect on self-esteem than what parents are seeking.

Larry Jackson at Manatee County's i9 Sports says his league caters to parents looking to avoid that sort of intensity and all-consuming commitment of time. i9's programs, which feature soccer, baseball, flag football and basketball have a once-a-week commitment and strict rules regarding parent and coach behavior. It was Jackson's experience with his own son that inspired him to provide an alternative for families in Manatee County to the ultra-competitive leagues that seem all too common.

”My son Bailey has pretty severe ADHD,“ explained Jackson.“He's very passionate about football and we had him join a tackle league a few years back. It was challenging for him because the coaches had him playing on the offensive line, where he would often get called off-sides because he has difficulty sitting still. The coaches weren't receptive to changing his position and there was a lot of yelling and getting in the players' faces, even calling them 'cheerleaders' and 'sissies' when they didn't perform well,“ lamented Jackson. ”In the end, all he walked away with was a sense that the coaches were angry with him. So, after two seasons he quit and didn't want to play anymore.”

Jackson recounted story after story of parents who brought children who'd been in more competitive leagues and weren't able to engage, but says almost 100 percent of the kids he's had join i9 end up coming out of their shell.

”With i9 Sports there is no pressure of having to win, or the depressive feeling of defeat,“ said Jackson. ”Our focus is about having fun, pure and simple. Someone wins and someone loses each week, but everyone walks on and off the field having fun. Kids are not belittled and are constantly getting taught about sportsmanship values and positive ways to enjoy sports.“

i9 focuses on a different sportsmanship value each week and kids are given medals when they exemplify one of them. The year-round nature of the league also gives parents lots of flexibility.

”Each season features each sport,“ explained Jackson. ”So kids can try different sports, no matter the time of year or they can stick to one they're passionate about and play as little or as much as they want throughout the year.“

Jackson says that parents too appreciate the model, noting that for too many families the logistics and expenses of competitive sports are prohibitive.

”When you start looking at some leagues, you've got to pay for uniforms and equipment, plus many of the competitions are several hours away,“ explained Jackson. ”Between registration, gas, a couple of meals and sometimes even hotel rooms, that can add up into the thousands of dollars each season. Then there's the nightly practices that consume a couple hours each evening and have to fit in around school work, dinner and other activities. Not every family's lifestyle can accommodate those kinds of commitments, no matter how badly they want to give that to their kids.“

Jackson says that i9 is limited to one day each week, with kids participating in a practice followed by a game on Saturday mornings or afternoons.

”Some of the kids are even involved with more intense leagues and i9 sort of gives them something to do between seasons that doesn't require as much of a time commitment,“ says Jackson. ”One parent told me that their son is in a wrestling league that requires a lot of travel and weeknight practice. It's a tough two months for their family and once that season's over there's no way they could play another sport that's equally demanding, so the once-a-week flag football at i9 gives their son a way to stay active during the other parts of the year without all of the time, travel and expenses." 

i9 leagues have programs for both girls and boys between the ages of 3 and 15. All of the games are played at the athletic fields next to Nolan Middle School in Lakewood Ranch and a league in West Manatee launches September 29. Registration costs as little as $125 per season, and with the Season Pass option, parents can have their kid involved in sports year round for $20 a month. They are currently enrolling kids in their Lakewood Ranch and West Manatee Leagues for the next season, which begins September 29. For more information email ljackson@i9sports.com, or visit the i9 Manatee website.