Sunday Favorites: Modesty is not the Best Policy

Culture - Socially conveyed behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, feelings, and all other products of human work and thought that are passed down through heredity and environment.

FRENCH CARIBBEAN -- When I spent over a year in the French Caribbean I was overwhelmed and intimidated by the beauty of French women. They seemed so self-assured and classy – in my mind they were unapproachable.  I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, make-up and hairstyling before realizing that the reason they are so stunning can’t be accredited to any product or superior gene. The simple explanation is that the French know what a real woman looks like.

I have a theory that stemmed from my time in France -- it seems we are doing more harm covering up our bodies than we’d be doing if we just revealed all. In France, it is common to see three generations of topless women with their families and friends sunbathing. Here, some of my friends have never even see their own parents with no clothes on. Topless bronzing would not only be considered inappropriate, it would also be uncomfortable for the participants -- and in most cases illegal.

Seeing French media for the first time can be a learning experience on the cultural level with its relaxed approach to nudity and sexuality. In Saint Barthelemy, an island in the French Caribbean, a magazine called Pure, which features nude women on the cover, is free and often displayed on the bottom rack in the grocery checkout line -- available to all ages.

”Where North American media would show a woman wearing skimpy clothing, the French media may show her topless. This is not shocking, and is certainly not considered perverted. Nudity is beautiful and sensual, and in France, it's the sensuality that sells. The nudity is more like a vehicle for the sensuality,“ said Sara Dellinger in her article "Sex and the French Media," 2001

As Americans, we were founded on a society of Puritan viewpoints. The same thought process that found the curved legs of a chair offensive, and therefore in need of a skirt, is responsible for forbidding topless beaches.

I am appalled when I go to the mall with my friends and they scoff at a woman breastfeeding her child. I actually heard a girl the other day say, ”if I see a pregnant woman at the beach in a bikini, I think I’ll puke.“ Since when did pregnancy and nursing become disgusting? In my opinion, it is that mind set that is the real dismaying trend. 
 
In America, we associate beauty with the super-thin, tall, airbrushed models we see on TV and in magazines, setting an unnatural standard for what’s attractive. Images in the media raise a number of ethical questions such as image manipulation and misrepresentation of beauty in ads.

Over 10 million Americans suffer from eating disorders. One-half of female teens and one-third of male teens age 15-19 use unhealthy weight control behaviors as they strive to become stereotypically thin, according to statistics from www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. In France, there is still an epidemic, but only about a fifth of the amount in the U.S., according to www.cureresearch.com.

Dove has actually set-up a marketing campaign to combat this superficiality by reminding the public of this misconception and featuring beautiful regular women of various shapes, ages and ethnicities in their ads. They encourage the viewer to ”talk“ to their children about beauty before they are exposed to mass media. I think parents should perhaps even go a step further and try showing their children what real-life naked people look like, so that their first exposure to the human form is educational rather than awkward and confusing.

The reason more families aren’t already doing this is partly because Americans believe that nudity is directly related to sex. In contrast, French people believe nudity to be a very beautiful and natural thing, a mundane aspect of life -- certainly not always pertaning to sex.

”There is also a strong element of reality -- an ad for shampoo or shower gel systematically includes a beautiful nude woman in the shower. After all, nudity is a part of daily life. The intent does not seem to be to arouse the viewer but to give a "real-life" aspect by showing the character as being very much at home,“ said Dellinger.

When I came back from France I brought with me a couple of issues of the magazine I mentioned earlier called Pure. People who came over to my house called it "porn". In actuality, it is a book of artistic female nudes with no real inclination toward sex. In fact, there is only one person in every picture.

My friends also made the comment that the women were all incredibly beautiful. What they didn’t know is that Pure is a magazine that photographs real women, not models, in a completely pristine condition. They don’t wear clothes or make-up and they are usually in a natural setting. What my friends were referring to as "porn" was actually a French version of the Dove ad campaign.

When I was in Saint Barths, my boyfriend and I went into a fancy boutique to buy something. The clerk was very French, and so beautiful that I felt self-conscience. I had seen her in magazines and standing there I felt grimy and awkward. I was sweaty and covered in dust from sanding the deck of a boat. I wore reef flip flops and board shorts while she was in Dior. I had no make-up on and my hair was full of salt. I told my boyfriend I had to step outside. I felt stupid for even coming into her shop. Then Mark came out.

”Do you know what she said?“ he asked.

I told him I didn’t have a clue.

”She told me that she thought you were beautiful,“ he said.

I couldn’t stop smiling. Every American should embrace a little more French culture and see how it helps their self esteem.