Post traumatic Stress (PTS) has become a more common current-day conversation than when I became immersed into the subject four decades ago. I experienced post-traumatic stress as a result of a long-term deep undercover assignment during my law enforcement career. I wanted to have a better understanding of the emotional upheaval I was feeling.
Simply defined, post-traumatic stress is a mental health condition caused by very stressful, frightening or distressing events. Hurricanes Helene and Milton created feelings of fear and stress. I have worked to create higher post-trauma education and awareness levels within the military, law enforcement, firefighters, first responders, and healthcare workers – we have done this with HIV-AIDS, alcohol, drugs, and tobacco education programs. This is not about eliminating trauma; it is about learning how to interact with traumatic events. Not all wounds bleed, and invisible wounds may hurt as much as the wounds we see.
Dr. Richard Mollica, Director of Harvard Global Mental Health Trauma Recovery program, is a mentor and friend who has a simple statement... "Trauma is inescapable in life." We are all susceptible, and we all experience trauma at some point. We have a tendency to minimize our experiences with phrases like "it could have been worse" or "others have it worse," and while that may be true, your "stuff" is your "stuff" and should be acknowledged.
During presentations, I hold a glass of water and ask, how much does this weigh. Folks answer 6-8 ounces, and I acknowledge that it is easy to carry. However, what if I hold this glass for the next 30 days; the light glass of water will pull on my arm and cause me to be more irritable and not fun to be around. It is not until I put it down and walk away from it for a period of time or ask someone to help me carry it that I will interact with that "light weight" in a better way. The same with our "stuff".
A good technique to lighten the load is peer-to-peer conversations. Speaking with someone who has gone through a similar experience. I choose the word similar carefully because we need not have the exact same experience yet talking to someone with a similar experience allows for a "release" and underlines that what is personal is universal. We are not alone. I used to refer to it as peer-to-peer therapy; however, I take away medical-sounding terms because words matter. This is a human condition, not a mental illness. Please do not interpret that I am saying we do not need the medical side of the house – we have tremendous resources available, and if feelings linger, speaking to a mental health professional is highly recommended. I am suggesting peer conversations as a first line of defense processing. When we share our story with someone we trust, we give permission for them to share their story, and together, we validate our emotional response to the event.
Allow me to use another visual from my presentation. Imagine we are all in a room, and I am holding a balloon full of air over my head. How do we get the air out? We can take a pin and pop it. We get the air out; however, we no longer have a balloon. We can let it go, and the balloon will fly around out of control. Yet if we are willing to listen to sounds, we do not want to hear – sounds that may hurt our ears - the slow air release causes an awful screeching noise; however, eventually, we get all the air out of the balloon and have a full balloon we can use again one day. That is us with trauma. We need to get the "air out of our balloon" – a controlled release of emotions allows for resilience to develop. Emotions are meant to be felt, and all too often, we do everything possible to hide or marginalize our emotions.
Understanding and awareness of triggers that may bring us back to the initial trauma is vital for processing trauma. The hurricane's aftermath of lifelong family materials piled along the street, homes and cars destroyed, communities "beat up" with downed signs, trees, shingles, roofs, loss of power, and knowledge of fatalities all bring back horrific memories. At times, when we get into a relaxed state like sleep, we may have visions of the trauma happening again – a repeat of the hurricane's pain. Knowing triggers and being prepared for sounds, sights, smells, etc., will give us a higher level of control and remind us that the hurricanes happened and are not happening again. The body reacts to triggers with a similar reaction as to the original experience. We speak about the emotional and psychological response to trauma – awareness of the physiological response and how it impacts our healthcare is vital.
One more point from when I present. I show a photo of a broken pottery bowl that has been repaired by what is known as Kintsugi – the Japanese art of mending areas of breakage with gold, silver, or platinum-dusted lacquer, transforming the broken into a beautifully changed piece of art. It reminds me of our humanity and trauma. Deep in our subconscious, I believe we feel if we are deemed "broken," we will be "discarded." Kintsugi helps us understand that "broken" can be repaired, and while not looking exactly the same, this bowl is still beautiful and functional and will continue to be operational. And I would argue it is stronger because it is reinforced. The bowl has been transformed to be even more attractive and can be proudly displayed.
We can learn so much about ourselves through Kintsugi. We can experience Post Traumatic Growth. Hurricane fatigue may create different reactions for each of us. Please know that self-care does not mean selfishness. Self-care is about being the best you can be to make the world a better place and your community a better place. Self-care can simply be taking a water/coffee break while cleanup continues. Taking time for YOU during this time of rebuilding will help allow incremental healing and growth.
My hope for you all is that you stay healthy, stay safe, and take care of one another—and take care of yourself, too!
Bob Delaney 's contributions to post trauma awareness have been recognized with proclamations from many including the United States Presidents Volunteer Service award and numerous awards from the U.S. Military. His personal experience from the 1970's landmark long-term undercover assignment infiltrating the Mafia to his days as an NBA Referee to his time as NBA Vice President Director of Officials to his current position with University South Florida Corporate Training / Professional Education provides unique perspectives into Post-Trauma Stress Management, Leadership, Resilience and Self-care. He has authored three books, numerous articles and has been the subject of media interviews and films. Delaney attended New Jersey City University, B.S. Criminology and St. Mary's College of California, M.A. Leadership. He is a Harvard Global Mental Health Trauma Recovery alumnus and presents globally.
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