Sunday Favorites: Return to Sender

When it comes to our family members, especially elderly relatives, we only encounter a small slice of their lives. We tend to associate them with the roles they’ve played as aging adults, forgetting that they were once young and full of life. Rarely do they share those vibrant moments from their past. Why is that? Perhaps they’re focused on keeping us happy, preparing meals, or talking about topics we can easily relate to. Yet, when they’re gone, we often find ourselves yearning for a deeper understanding of who they were. We turn to genealogy, piecing together fragments of their history. The real tragedy is that, while they were with us, we could have simply asked.

In 2017, I gifted this book to my paternal grandmother, Dorothy “Dottie” Favorite, not realizing how transformative it would be. To my surprise and delight, she returned it to me the following year, filled with photos, stories and memories I had never heard before. It wasn’t just a gift for her—it became a treasure for our entire family.

The prompts range from school days to love interests and even embarrassing moments. Between the prompts, there are many blank pages for adding extra details or photos, just as my grandmother did. Through these pages, I discovered so much about her that I had never known. 

Growing up in Selma, Alabama, during the Great Depression, my grandmother’s family didn’t have much. She was the youngest of seven children, and her mother went into labor with her after a wild cow knocked her to the ground, triggering the birth. Despite their poverty, her father managed to create joy out of simplicity, crafting a checkerboard by hand—a toy that became one of her most treasured possessions. These details were some I’d never heard her discuss. 

Another revelation was her parents' love story. They courted around town in a horse and buggy but never even shared a kiss before they were married, a detail that painted a vivid picture of a different time and culture.

And then there were the stories about her own love life. As it turns out, my grandmother had a bit of a “Bob” streak. In high school, she dated  Bob Phillips, but their romance ended when he went off to the military and she never saw him again. The true love of her life was my grandfather, Bob Favorite, a marketing genius she met in Pittsburgh. They later moved to Jacksonville, Florida, which, surprisingly, had a lively movie production scene at the time. It was there that my dad was born.

My grandfather passed away in his 40s, and my grandmother eventually remarried—to another Bob. Bob Bates was a wonderful grandfather to us, but because of the nature of family dynamics, we rarely spoke about my biological grandfather, the love of her life. Through the journal, I finally learned more about him and their life together, a story I likely might have never known.

And of course, there was her career and life as a mom. She and Bob Favorite ran a successful advertising business and even produced a full-length horror film at Flagler College called “The Brides Wore Blood.” Filming was a family affair—my dad helped create a stormy atmosphere by using thin metal sheets, known as thunder sheets, to simulate a thunderstorm.

By the time she returned the book to me in 2018, all 106 pages were filled out. Each page revealed a little more of her—her struggles, her triumphs, and her essence. As her memory fades with age, this book has become more than a keepsake. It’s a tangible connection to her life. Through her stories, I can see the full, vibrant person she is and was and the legacy she will eventually leave behind. 

I highly recommend gifting this book as a holiday gift. It’s one you won’t mind being returned.